It’s been a long time since I last addressed my ongoing love-hate relationship with horror movies. I never liked scary movies as a kid, and even as I got older, I was very selective about what I was willing to watch. A lot has changed since then.
At the tender age of fifty-one, I’m considerably less sensitive to the things that used to scare the hell out of me. I’m still discovering old classics, rediscovering movies I haven’t seen in years and finding a new appreciation for them, and I’ve discovered plenty of modern horror films that can be fun, genuinely frightening, or downright disturbing in exactly the right way.
That doesn’t mean I’ve become an indiscriminate horror fan. I’m still pretty particular about how a filmmaker tells a story. Give me something original, something that requires an actual story rather than a collection of cheap tricks, or something that demonstrates genuine craft behind the camera, and I’m almost always willing to take a chance on pressing play.
But that’s not really why I’m here today.
I’m here to revisit some of the things I’ve written about horror over the past 15 or 20 years and see how well they’ve aged. Have my opinions changed? Do I still agree with what I wrote? Did I actually know what I was talking about, or was younger me just confidently bullshitting his way through another blog post?
There was only one way to find out: dig through the archives.
It took a while to track everything down because, apparently, one abandoned blog wasn’t enough for me. I actually had two blog sites, as well as things I had pilfered from LiveJournal before I even had a semi-legit blog. I didn’t do a lot of LiveJournal, and what I did have probably consisted of 25 posts, read by maybe seven people and thirty or so bots located in Russia and other Eastern European countries steeped in authoritarian rule. This lasted for about nine months before my cousin decided to take pity on me and let me share some web space on his hosted site. Most of that nonsense isn’t even related to the four posts I eventually shared with the internet for everyone to see, yet the page-visit counter remains remarkably lonely.
Eventually, I migrated everything I’d created over to The Inconsistent Writer and let WordPress take over the responsibility of keeping my digital history vaguely organized.
Yes, I know. Fascinating stuff.
Before I even get started, I found a post where I mentioned bringing over a collection of DVDs to a friend’s house so we could pick something to watch during “spooky season” (aka, October). It turns out that the “friend” I was writing about eventually became my wife, although at this specific moment in time she was apparently just…a friend. Naturally, I thought this was worth digging up.
That post looked like this:
And no, I didn’t write a review of Shaun of the Dead the next day. I posted something else, and that something else—which happened to include Shaun of the Dead—is what I’ve listed below. (Additionally, my life was never all that crazy, and no matter how many times I re-read what I wrote to correct the grammatical errors, I still managed to miss a few.)
So, without further ado, below are the ramblings of a much younger—and occasionally much more ignorant—me, along with a few thoughts with the benefit of hindsight. I was going to drop all four posts below along with some more current commentary and observations, but I have a nasty habit of making long posts even longer, so I figured, why not break it up and give your eyes and scrolling thumbs a break? If I had given this any forethought at the beginning of the month, you probably would have gotten four posts throughout October. Instead, you’re probably going to get one—maybe two—and I’ll likely end up doing this again next year after I’ve given myself a little more time to pretend I actually know what I’m doing.
Enjoy.
THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU.
Saturday, October 28, 2006
The Dude’s Sister: What, would you say, is your most favorite “ultra suspense” movie of all-time?
That’s such a tough question because I always seem to break horror movies into sub-genres. So here is my attempt to break them down:
(I might have lifted a summary here and there from IMDb.com, just to speed things up.)
WHERE IN THE HELL ARE MY PANTS?!?
Movies that scare the pants off of you.
28 Days Later (2002)
Directed by Danny Boyle
“His fear began when he woke up alone. His terror began when he realized he wasn’t.”
I think the main reason I find this film so brilliant and undeniably disturbing is that the premise seems realistic. A powerful virus escapes from a British research facility. Transmitted through a drop of blood and devastating within seconds, the virus locks those infected into a permanent state of murderous rage. The outbreak sweeps across London over the course of a month and lays waste to a majority of the population. Jim (Cillian Murphy), our protagonist, wakes from a coma in a deserted hospital and finds himself searching for any survivors in the now-vacant city.
The Blair Witch Project (1999)
Directed by Daniel Myrick & Eduardo Sánchez
“In October of 1994 three student filmmakers disappeared in the woods near Burkittsville, Maryland, while shooting a documentary…A year later their footage was found.”
The majority consensus, when it comes to this film, is either: it truly scared me to death, or it was a giant pile of rubbish. This film is the defining compass when it comes to the ability to suspend your disbelief. So much time and effort went into creating a rich history with mock television specials, websites, etc., that it was hard to determine whether what you were seeing was real or just horse manure. The film thrives on how good your active imagination is, and whether it will have you looking over your shoulder by the time the credits roll.
2026 RETROSPECTIVE COMMENTARY
It’s strange looking back at this, twenty years gone by, and still agreeing—mostly—with what I had to say. Granted, I didn’t seem to share as much insight into these so-called “reviews,” and it’s glaringly apparent that anything you read here that’s providing a cohesive plot synopsis was very much lifted directly from IMDb.com (but at least I was honest about that upfront).
Looking back at these two movies now, they still hit pretty hard for me. I’m not sure if my pants are missing this go-around, but I guess that’s probably a good thing. 28 Days Later is just as visceral to me now as it was when it first came out. I think the only thing that has hurt the film—at least for me—is the now significantly expanded universe. I’m not entirely sure if the additional sequels have hurt the original film’s effectiveness, but I feel like if the movie had been left alone, it might register a little higher for me in terms of creativity.
When I revisited The Blair Witch Project earlier this month, nostalgia was definitely doing most of the heavy lifting when it came to making the hair stand up on the back of my neck.
Do you remember when your parents used to tell you to “use your imagination” whenever you were given something less than adequate to play with? That’s exactly why this film was so damn scary and disturbing to me. Nothing is scarier than your own imagination.
For those of you who weren’t around at the time, or might have been young enough to be unaware (or old enough not to care), the viral marketing campaign for this movie was absolutely epic.
With the internet still being in its infancy, the producers were pretty much blazing their own trails with something no one had really done before. They went as far as creating a completely fictional TV special (aka, mockumentary) called Curse of the Blair Witch, which aired on the Sci-Fi Channel on July 11, 1999, approximately three weeks before the movie was released theatrically.
This mockumentary successfully convinced many viewers (myself included) that the three missing student filmmakers were real people and that the legend of the Blair Witch was true before they ever stepped into a movie theater.
What I specifically remember after going to see The Blair Witch Project during its opening week is this: the friends I went with that night were so scared that one of them didn’t want to drive home alone in the middle of the night. I can’t remember exactly where Josh lived at the time, but I knew the drive wasn’t a short, ten-minute trek. It was at least an hour, and he didn’t want to be on the road in the middle of the night alone with his thoughts, dwelling on what might have happened.
We were only just starting to hear rumors that the whole thing might have been fake, but those rumors traveled slowly in 1999. So what did Josh want to do? He wanted to spend the night at my parents’ house, where I was still living at the time.
So we camped out in the living room, feeding off our own primal fears and having additional conversations in the darkness until we finally faded off into our eventual slumber.
My only other observation about The Blair Witch Project from 2026 is this: the performances these three actors give are pretty incredible. Once they realize they’re lost, there’s a sense of realism to the dread and fear they’re portraying that feels incredibly palpable. Knowing now that they were actors doesn’t make those performances any less convincing. If anything, it makes me appreciate them more.
Would I recommend this today? Probably not. It was definitely a very specific moment in time that just doesn’t play the same way it did back in 1999. However, if you don’t know anything about this movie, the only way to watch it is not necessarily to go in completely blind, but to go in like everyone else did in 1999. Watch Curse of the Blair Witch on YouTube as your primer, and then watch the film. That’s the only way you’re going to experience it in its purest form.
Here’s hoping you don’t get motion sickness from the way the camera moves. Maybe take some Dramamine first?
IS THAT A STITCH IN MY SIDE OR AM I BEING DISEMBOWELED?
Movies that are humorously horrifying.
Evil Dead II (1987)
Directed by Sam Raimi
“Kiss Your Nerves Good-Bye!”
Sometimes satire is considered one of the highest forms of flattery. This works twice as well when you satirize your own work. Some consider it a remake, while others consider it a sequel. Either way, Evil Dead II is a splendid blend of horror and comedy, reuniting Ash (Bruce Campbell) with a deserted house in the woods and the Necronomicon (the Book of the Dead). The result is a laugh-a-minute, goofball, gore-filled adventure as Ash (armed with only a shotgun and chainsaw) tries to save himself and a group of strangers from demonic possession and quite possibly the end of the world.
Shaun of the Dead (2004)
Directed by Edgar Wright
“A romantic comedy. With zombies.”
A brilliant British comedy with the disturbing images of a zombie flick. Shaun (Simon Pegg) is a 29-year-old with no real ambition in life, much to the consternation of his friends, family, and fed-up girlfriend. All of these things come to a screeching halt when London is suddenly overtaken by flesh-eating zombies. Shaun, with the help of his loser friend Ed, must now come to the rescue of his mum, stepdad, and ex-girlfriend, armed with only a shovel, a cricket bat, and his wit.
2026 RETROSPECTIVE COMMENTARY
I’ll keep this one short… er.
I still stand by Evil Dead II and Shaun of the Dead as two of my absolute favorite horror comedies. Evil Dead II was likely the very first horror comedy I had ever seen—at least voluntarily—after a co-worker recommended it to me, especially over the original Evil Dead (1981), knowing how much of a film geek I had become in the late ’90s. He knew I would appreciate Sam Raimi’s frenetic camerawork, as well as the over-the-top comedic gore, among other things. If you’re still out there, Eric, and you’re reading this, thanks!
I’ve definitely added many more horror comedies to the list since then, but these two would likely be two of the four figureheads on my Mount Rushmore of Horror Comedies. The other two would most likely be An American Werewolf in London (1981) and The Cabin in the Woods (2012).
If I were leaning harder into the comedy portion and pulling back on the horror, I might swap out An American Werewolf in London for Tucker and Dale vs. Evil (2010) or maybe even Zombieland (2009). This category has expanded greatly since I first wrote this, and while I can easily remove and replace movies as I go, it has gotten increasingly difficult to fill those other two spots.
It’s an internal debate that has been going on in my head for the past ten years, and I can’t imagine it quieting down anytime soon.
YOU’LL ONLY DIE IF YOU’RE NOT A VIRGIN.
Slasher movies with a pre-determined set of rules.
Halloween (1978)
Directed by John Carpenter
“The Night HE Came Home!”
A group of unsuspecting teenage girls are stalked by an escaped mental patient who murdered his sister on Halloween when he was only six years old. He has returned to his hometown to repeat his crime, pursued only by his psychiatrist, who believes that his patient is the manifestation of pure evil.
John Carpenter and his crew shot this film in 21 days with a budget of $300,000. Halloween is high on suspense, low on blood and guts, and it works. Rumor has it that when the film was first screened, it only received mediocre reviews. After Carpenter added the now-iconic film score, it suddenly became too intense for some viewers. Just goes to prove how valuable a film score can truly be.
Scream (1996)
Directed by Wes Craven
“Make Your Last Breath Count.”
A teenage girl (Neve Campbell) becomes the target of a killer who has stalked and killed one of her classmates. A tabloid news reporter (Courteney Cox) is determined to uncover the truth, insisting that the man who raped and killed Campbell’s mother one year earlier is the same man who is terrorizing her now.
Scream made you reevaluate how you looked at every other horror movie, successfully proving the point that if you were a virgin and in a horror movie, there was a very good chance you would survive. With its tongue-in-cheek dialogue, this independent horror film became a smash hit when people realized that you could have just as much fun laughing as you could screaming.
2026 RETROSPECTIVE COMMENTARY
The slasher subgenre has never truly been my favorite type of horror movie. Its selling point—at least in the ’80s and ’90s, but just as much now—was often gore for gore’s sake. Thrills and kills, cheap jump scares, how creative can we get with how the next victim dies, and a body count that has to compete with either the previous installment, previous competitor, or previous sequel. Sequels are also rarely my thing, but that’s where slashers live: in the eventual cesspool of too many sequels, each one trying to recapture what made the original work while offering increasingly diminishing returns.
I can very much appreciate an original slasher, whether because it was creative and groundbreaking at the time or because it was a simple yet engaging story made by master filmmakers behind the camera. But when it’s just schlock, you can probably count me out.
If I were to revisit this category in a future post, I would probably change the category name. I could still easily add half a dozen more recommendations; they just wouldn’t all involve high school students and who is or isn’t a virgin.
DUDE, DID YOU JUST SEE SOMETHING?
Movies that make you sit on the edge of your seat.
Alien (1979)
Directed by Ridley Scott
“In space no one can hear you scream.”
When commercial towing vehicle Nostromo, heading back to Earth, intercepts an SOS signal from a nearby planet, the crew is under obligation to investigate. One of the crew members is put into a coma by an alien creature while investigating. What follows shortly after is one of the most intense and suspenseful pictures I’ve ever witnessed. The alien creature proceeds to eliminate every crew member on the ship, one by one. Ridley Scott successfully created a haunted house-like film that made you wonder what would happen next at every turn. The film is also a great social commentary on the evils of commercial corporate conglomerates. It’s the perfect mixture of science fiction, horror, and unrelenting suspense.
Signs (2002)
Directed by M. Night Shyamalan
“It’s Not Like They Didn’t Warn Us.”
In Bucks County, Pennsylvania, a five-hundred-foot crop circle is found on the farm of Graham Hess (Gibson), the town’s reverend. The circles cause a media frenzy and test Hess’s faith as he journeys to find out the truth behind the crop circles.
Many would argue that this film shouldn’t belong next to other horror titles. That’s why I have subgenres. While this film has next to no blood and gore associated with it, it does display an extremely high level of suspense. As if cornfields weren’t creepy enough already, with the assistance of Mr. Shyamalan, they become a direct source of anxiety and anticipation.
I have yet to watch another film involving an alien invasion that seems more realistic than this one. Plus, I can’t fail to mention that this was the first film I can recall making Willis jump out of his seat. That, if nothing more, was well worth the price of admission.
2026 RETROSPECTIVE COMMENTARY
This is probably my favorite category when looking for a spooky or scary movie during October. Turn the lights down low (or off, for that matter), turn the volume up a bit (because we all know these kinds of movies have peaks and valleys when it comes to sound design), pull your loved one close, and then let yourself absorb the surrounding environment. This is haunted-house territory now, and you’ve purposefully come to be scared, to have your adrenaline spiked, to increase your heart rate, and raise your blood pressure. Give in to the world around you and enjoy the ride.
I still stand by my choices here. Alien and Signs are great for creating those scenarios, but once you’ve seen these a handful of times, the jump scares no longer trigger you the way they used to. You have to keep going back to the well for a fresh bucket of expletives, nonsensical words, and kid-safe swears when young ones are around—like the ones your wife shouts out when she’s presented with a good jump scare.
I’LL TAKE AN M16 ALONG WITH A CLEAN PAIR OF SHORTS.
The action-movie scare-fest experience.
Aliens (1986)
Directed by James Cameron
“This time it’s war.”
The only survivor of the Nostromo, Ripley is discovered in deep sleep half a century later by a salvage ship. When she is taken back to Earth, she learns that a human colony was founded on the same planet where the aliens were first found. After contact with the colony is lost, she finds herself sent back to the planet along with a team of Marines.
James Cameron successfully writes and directs the sequel, taking the general haunted-house premise and turning it into a full-fledged roller-coaster ride. The action is satisfying, the horror is sometimes unbearable, and the tension and suspense are unwavering. Once the aliens arrive on screen, the pacing is unbelievably quick, and you hardly have time to catch your breath before the picture fades to black.
From Dusk Till Dawn (1996)
Directed by Robert Rodriguez
“One night is all that stands between them and freedom. But it’s going to be a hell of a night.”
Penned by Quentin Tarantino, From Dusk Till Dawn is the story of two criminals and their hostages who unknowingly seek temporary refuge in an establishment populated by vampires. This film is what I call a “half-n-half.” Half Tarantino dialogue-driven action film, half insane vampire action-gore fest.
Robert Rodriguez’s role didn’t end with director on this film. He was also his own director of photography, producer, and editor. Any Rodriguez or Tarantino fan should—and probably does—love this film. It has a little bit of everything, just like “Benny’s World of Liquor.”
2026 RETROSPECTIVE COMMENTARY
Horror-action movies are another subgenre that is much more a matter of personal taste, and while I’ve tasted plenty of other horror-action movies over the last twenty years, some don’t always taste as good as others. Aliens and From Dusk Till Dawn are still my go-to movies when I want equal parts action and horror, although I rarely grab Aliens during October for some reason (the same goes for Alien, now that I think about it). Not that they don’t work here, because they most definitely do. I just see them more as sci-fi, so I don’t always remember to include them with my other October viewing choices.
If I were to come back to this category at a later date, as I’ve already mentioned, I could easily add several more selections, including Train to Busan, Blade, World War Z, or even Guillermo del Toro’s Hellboy.
THE CHANNEL CHANGER.
Movies that you just can’t watch ever again.
The Exorcist (1973)
Directed by William Friedkin
“Somewhere between science and superstition, there is another world. The world of darkness.”
Based on the novel by William Peter Blatty (which was based on actual events), the film revolves around a visiting actress in Washington, D.C., who has noticed dramatic physical and psychological changes in her daughter. She seeks help from a psychologist who also happens to be a priest. The escalating situation calls upon the aid of another priest when all hope seems to be lost. The girl seems to be possessed by a demon.
The Exorcist is the kind of film that disturbs me down to my core. I’ve probably seen the film twice in its entirety and never plan to watch it again. Coming from a strong Christian-based family and background, the film strikes too close to home psychologically and, more specifically, spiritually.
That’s why I’ve labeled this film as “The Channel Changer.” If I ever come across it on television, the channel is immediately changed. I’m sure everyone has a film that has this kind of effect on them.
I can readily admit that The Exorcist is by far the scariest and most unnerving film I’ve ever seen.
2026 RETROSPECTIVE COMMENTARY
I still stand by what I said before. The Exorcist is still by far the scariest and most unnerving film I’ve ever seen. While I’ve been debating watching it once more to try and convince myself that it still is, I could probably add a few more movies to this category. They would probably include Event Horizon (1997), Hellraiser (1987), Hereditary (2018), or maybe even Midsommar (2019). Why those last two? Because there’s just something Ari Aster does with his films that gets under my skin—not necessarily because I’m scared, but because I spend the rest of the movie wishing I wasn’t watching it. And yet, I still feel compelled to finish it.
At one point, I felt that maybe even the original The Texas Chain Saw Massacre from 1974 could be added here, but I’ve gone back to it a few more times in the last five years and even watched it for one of our Halloween podcast episodes. So while this film is greatly disturbing and incredibly effective at creating unease in its viewers, I can still go back to it and appreciate it as an unsettling piece of art.
In the words of my good friend and former podcast co-host, Travis, “art is designed to evoke some kind of emotional response,” and Tobe Hooper did exactly that with The Texas Chain Saw Massacre.
Until next time, keep the lights low, the volume up, and the horror movies rolling. It is Halloween, after all.
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